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The Not-So-Great Train Robbery
'The Wreck of the White Man's Nightmare '''is a mission in the game. It is activated automatically. Objectives *Meet Neil at the tunnel *Park the van at the crossing *Get to the tanker *Unhook the coupling before time runs out Script ''During free roam, Willem calls Lis 'Lis: '''Willem, my favorite arms dealer. '''Willem: '''Lis, my favorite get-it-done person. Right, so everything's ready for the mission. '''Lis: '''The one with the train? '''Willem: '''Yes, that's the one. Meet Neil at the train tunnel out in the mountains, he'll tell you what to do. You know where the tunnel is, right? '''Lis: '''Yeah, I think I got a good idea. '''Willem: '''Good. Go there, he'll give you a briefing. Time is of the essence, Lis. ''Willem hangs up, automatically activating the mission The player is instructed to drive to the train tunnel to meet Neil The player arrives at the tunnel. Upon arrival, a cutscene occurs Neil, dressed up as a railroad employee. is leaning up against the van she stole in the previous mission and, after noticing Lis, begins a conversation 'Neil: '''Hey Lis. '''Lis: '''Hey, Neil amigo. What're you doing here? '''Neil: '''Long story short, I meet that WIllem guy from Trey. Trey says he knows a guy who wants to know about trains, I've been modelling railroads since I was eight, put two and two together and boom. You got this...thing. '''Lis: '''Alright, so, what's the plan? '''Neil: '''Right, look at this. ''Neil pulls a map out of his pocket, unfolds it, and puts it on the hood of the van, pointing things out to Lis as he speaks 'Neil: '''So, you got your train coming in from this direction. Now, it always slows down here because of the curve, safety precaution. Now, right here is a railroad crossing, all out in nowhere. We park the van there, wait for the train to stop. I talk to the crew about some sort of fault in some switch up ahead. While I'm doing that, you go find the tanker with the propane in it. Uncouple it from the rest of the train, I send them on their way, and all's good. Oh, you're gonna want to put this on. ''Neil tosses Lis a ball of clothing 'Neil: '''It'll make you look legit, I won't look. ''The scene then cuts to Lis climbing into the driver seat, dressed as a yard worker, and Neil climbing into the passenger seat of the railroad van The player gains control of Lis. The player is instructed to drive to the railroad crossing. During the drive, a conversation erupts 'Lis: '''What happened to the old plan? With the grain depot and all? '''Neil: '''Yeah, Will and I talked about it and we decided to go with this plan. '''Lis: '''So, that means my efforts taking those pictures were wasted? '''Neil: '''The effort on the train pictures were wasted since I could've loaned him the use of my model of the same exact engine. '''Lis: '''I figured that. '''Neil: '''However, we do know that the railroad's hired security guards, so that's something to look out for. '''Lis: '''Where are they gonna put security guards on a train? '''Neil: '''Beats me, but wherever they have them, we gotta look out. '''Lis: '''Alright, so that being said, what's gonna happen when we unhook the tanker from the rest of the train? '''Neil: '''Wait for Willem's guy to show up, take the stuff out, and get paid. '''Lis: '''Sounds like my kind of job. '''Neil: '''What, this one gig or your whole...uh...whachamacallit-criminal career? '''Lis: '''I'm not a criminal. '''Neil: '''You rob, you steal- '''Lis: '''They mean the same thing. '''Neil: '''But still- '''Lis: '''Alright, look at it this way, you know Robin Hood? Steals from the rich, gives to the poor? I'm kinda like that. '''Neil: '''Are you doing that because of your moral standpoints, or are you doing it because video games making you do that? '''Lis: '''What? '''Neil: '''I mean, you were always into video games. Like, since you moved here. '''Lis: '''I don't think you've got room to talk, seeing as you don't do much but play with your train set and watch war movies. '''Neil: '''For one, it isn't a "train set". It's a 1:87th scale representation of Western Maryland's coal mining region circa 1988, and two, I...wait...eh... '''Lis: '''Exactly. So let's just keep everything chill here until we get to the crossing, right? ''The player arrives at the crossing. Upon arrival, a cutscene occurs Lis parks the van on the railroad tracks and the two exit it, looking forward to the train line. A few seconds later, they see a train coming. It ends up stopping a few inches from the van as Neil walks to the side of it and speaks with one of the crewmembers 'Crewmember: '''What's the matter here? '''Neil: '''We're checking the yard up ahead for broken switches, we're keeping you here as a precaution. Now, is that a GD9 you're driving or a GD7? ''Neil motions for Lis to go to the rear of the train The player gains control of Lis. The player is instructed to get to the tanker The player arrives at the tanker. After doing so, a cutscene occurs Lis finds the tanker wagon. She then finds the coupling and fiddles around with it before muttering to herself 'Lis: '''Fucking fuck, I should've asked how to do this. ''The player is instructed to do a minigame that involves unhooking the wagon from the rest of the train in less than a minute and thirty seconds The player unhooks the train. After doing so, a cutscene occurs Lis is walking over to the locomotive as Neil continues speaking with the crewmembers 'Neil: '-And if it were in fact an original GD40-2, it would have an EL5 horn. However, I see you got an EL10 horn, so it obiviously a rebuild- 'Lis: '''Hey, we got it fixed up. '''Crewmember: '''What was that? '''Neil: '''We got it fixed up, so you're good to go. Let us move the van and you're good to go. ''Neil and Lis enter the van. Neil gets in the driver's seat and Lis gets in the passenger seat. Neil drives away as a conversation erupts 'Lis: '''Sounds like you were having a fun time, asking those conductors about their train and stuff. '''Neil: '''Not often do you see trains come around here. Well, you do, but you don't get that close up to them. '''Lis: '''Right. So, let me out here and I'll give Willem a call. '''Neil: '''You sure you want out here? '''Lis: '''I'm sure. ''Neil shrugs and pulls over as Lis exits the van Mission passed. Lis automatically calls Willem 'Willem: '''Hello Elisabeth. '''Lis: '''Hey Willem, we got that tanker there for you, in the spot Neil said you and him talked about. '''Willem: '''That's good to hear. I'll put you and Neil's pay in your bank accounts. '''Lis: '''Cool, beats having to cash a check. ''Lis hangs up Alternate cutscene THIS ONLY PLAYS IF THE PLAYER FAILS THE UNCOUPLING MINIGAME The scene cuts to Neil talking to the engineer 'Neil: '''Ya know, there's something about 4-axle diesels I like. You know, they're a lot more humble than the 6-axle ones you see on the tracks today. '''Crewmember: '''For fuck's sake, we don't have time for this- '''Neil: '''Of course you do. One, you gotta wait for the switch to be cleared and two, I still wanna ask how many cylinders're in the engine. '''Crewmember: '''We'll take our chances, buddy. ''The crewmember accelerates the engine, causing it to plow through the van parked on the tracks as Neil throws up his arms in frustration. The scene then cuts to Lis, still trying to unhook the coupler when the train moves forward and knocks her down, eventually leading to Lis getting run over